10 Random Things About Me I still haven't told you yet....I think!

In the spirit of sharing and realizing that my life is as mundane as everyone elses, I come to spice it up by sharing 10 random facts about myself that I don't think I have shared yet, as if you REAAAALLLY wanted to know!

(shut up I just like lists.)

1.) Thanks to one marathon session of season 1 & 2 of the Tudors last month, I have been on a semi-obsessed love affair with the 1550's and there abouts--despite the dirty, filthy, stinking, backwards ways it was. It's the wigs--the pearls, the diamonds and the gowns. Or maybe the men in tight hose...Anyway, last night I shot sleep in the head to watch Elizabeth, and Elizabeth: the golden age. I had fun. Tudors Season 3 cannot get here fast enough.

2.) Now that Bill and Sookie (HBO Series: Trueblood) have humped like rabbits that certain spark that made the show different has started to fade. I still like the show, but I find myself loosing enthusiasm in worrying about it.

3.) I have a million things I always want to do. I am the world's greatest procrastinator. I want to repaint this picture. I want to sit down with my sketchbook and practice. I want to work on rusty CSS skills. I want to get back into fiddling with layouts. I want to make graphics and icons. I want to role play. I want to write. I want to make money online. I want to try Nano this year (I made an account. Haven't even started and probably won't lololololol.) I want to write poetry. I want to learn how to write better. I have things to clean--this goes through my head and more, everyday. Generally, I clean and dick around the internet. Woo.

4.) I forgive easily but I do not forget. If some one wrongs me, even if I say I have forgiven them--I tend to start building walls, or shutting them out quietly bit by bit until I have placed suitable distance. What I mean by that, is, I sort of slowly remove myself from them while being as polite and nonchalant as possible--and generally tend to make them have to some how earn my trust again to get the process reversed...Or they don't, and eventually I am just completely gone all together. Bad habit, that!

5.) I never used to have a shoe fetish. As I have neared and now passed 30, I have a drive to want to own every shiny pair of shoes I pass. Pretty shoes, comfy shoes, slipper-shoes, funny shoes, high heels...I would literally have many pairs to wear different shoes a day. I do not know where this came from. When I was a child, we had money enough for a pair of shoes. Normally, THE pair that fit me at the time and I did not get another pair until I either grew out of them or they were falling apart. When I first met Shawn, I had a pair of WALMART sandals. That was it. I wore those for two years before I met him and wore them for another four/five after. Eventually, I wore the soles out until there were holes where my toes and heels were and had to get new shoes. Perhaps the sandals were magic sandals against shoe addiction--after that, I have turned into a payless beast. Well. I would. If Shawn would let me.

6.) I am going through my pink and sparkly phase for a second time. The first time was probably between the ages of 3-10. I wandered away from it for a while and now that I am 30 I am once again obsessed with the color pink and/or glitter. Some times the two of them together. I want to be surrounded by pink things and I am not sure what that means/where it came from.

7.) Significantly growing more foul in the vocabulary area as I grow older. I have to catch myself from saying "fuck," in public with people I don't know, because, "I don't fucking know, that fucking guy with the fucking face," is the nominal frequency fuck is used when I talk to Shawn some days.

8.) This last year I just up and developed dandruff. I have never had a damn flake. I have switched to a different regiment of washing and conditioning and finally caved in to trying Head & Shoulders. Both my parents had psoriasis and mentioning Head & Shoulders brought nightmares of this bright blue shit that smelled like medicine cabinets in hospitals + some kind of poop. I am happy to say Head & Shoulders has since then, VASTLY improved, the shampoo & conditioner I have right now smells awesome and not like poo.

9.) I had three sparkly head bands from Target purchased last year. Cheap kind, not for holding hair back per se but for glittering and shimmering on your head. Secretly, I pretended the silver leopard sparkly, red and black head bands were tiaras. This appeased me for some time until 2 of them snapped. The last one, my sparkly leopard spotted one is still alive but the plastic is creaking. I will be very sad when it goes.

10.) Some times my cat is so overwhelmingly adorable I scoop her up and tell her that she's so cute that I have to eat her. So I gum on her head like a retard while making fake chewing motions, get hair all in my face and mouth and top it off with really loud OUM NOM NOM noises.


Welp, there's my ten random FAQ's ya'll probably really didn't want to know about me! How's about you?

Painted

Pastel touches canvas,
giving light to shaded background.
I'm coloring myself unwanted.

Memory coughs down another lecture of perspective
and I'm ignoring it, blending grays away until
I explode; whispering bright patterns against the dull.

I live my pretend life in pretend beauty,
crying with angels,
dancing with spirits,
kissing pretty boys on their pretty mouths;
happily forever after into a sunset I painted lemonade.

My reds bleed to wistful pink mists,
my forest greens to neon envy.

If I painted reality it would be black and gray and
tears all over.

My mind is the turpentine to all my dreams

This is what I dreamed last night

My name was Vanlanthiriel. My hair, caught in spirals and waves was as pitch as the night without any moon or stars and my skin was white as new milk. Long lines and bones for my beautiful hands, which time had never touched.

It could be said that I was the epitome of beauty, the cliché of elven standards. And I did not care, as a piece of me had been irrevocably torn from me.

I was one part of two, one half of one whole--a twin for my brother, Valdaglerion. A spear, a silly little piece of metal was all that it took to shatter the bond of two minds entangled since the womb. My days of having my words finished for me, of laughter, of childhood secrets with heads bent together were no more.

All that I had left was the echo of words and thoughts which belonged to me. They lacked any life without him, they lacked color. Everything I did in the time after his death became a gray smudge of memory I will never recall.

Like my namesake, I have always been drawn to water. The peace of the slow winding river, the glitter of evening sun on waves. So it was that I chose the lake my brother and I spent our childhood. Here, the willow, the spruce, the oak and the ash seemed to bend down in quiet respect to the beauty of the water in fresh morning mist. No wind stirred a leaf to sound, only to bob and sway, reflecting little bits of golden sun in the endless sea of green before me. How sweet that the forest mourned me already.

Barefoot, dressed in white as if a bride, I knew that with my heart turned lead all that I must do is walk forward; I would sink forever and no more would this hole left by Valdaglerion's death ache. So I sank my feet within the cold water and did not think to look behind me, not once, not even when the clear lake eagerly lapped at the edges of my eyelids, wiping away tears I did not know I shed.

Beneath the water the sounds of the world rushed passed in muted currents, so too were all the colors. I thought this befitting and suitable for my sorrow and was confused for a moment as all of it went away--to the now harsh brightness of day once again. My spine and my shoulders hit something harsh enough for air to leave me, above me sky stretched on forever.

It was Darson, still in his mithril armor from Valdaglerion's funeral. Our protector, a friend of father's from his younger days. The dwarf, to me, shone so brightly as that I mistook him for a star fallen a moment. How ridiculous, for no star held sun baked skin, long brown beard proudly woven, grizzled features, or tear filled blue eyes--

"My lady," his voice shook as he berated me. He said things, things which were awful and true. He asked of me if I thought this was Valdaglerion's wish. If I thought this is what he would have wanted of his legacy, what he wanted for his sister. There were little red flowers on the ground as I rolled from him to sob shamelessly into the grass, the same color as the bloom of red upon silk. He bade and begged me to listen, his rocky voice wavering between choked and angry. I did not want to hear, but it was when it sounded as if he would go--that I wailed like a child and caught his hand.

"Please, don't leave me alone!" There was no music in my words, my voice did not sound like my own.

It must have been what Darson wished to finally hear, for through the tears in blue eyes, he sat with a great rattle of metal right upon the ground near me and took my hand to his breast. There, he enfolded it in both of his, battle-scarred paws which swallowed the white of my own.

Shivering wet, sprawled upon the lake of my almost-death, it was there that we both spoke of Valdaglerion, and my sorrow was no longer selfish.


-------
And then I woke up. Most vivid, realistic dream I have had in ages.

I hate epaulets

I've been bitching at myself lately to go re-do a lot of the art I drew last year, because it sucked and I have learned a little. Not a lot, but a little to make some of it not suck so hard. Here's one of the images I've reworked:

Jodiah II by =EpicureanPoetry on deviantART

As always, visit and click via links if you really wanna look at this horror close up.

Caught

Insomnia called, it said: "HA HA LOSER."

So I practiced drawing my chublicious hands.