SWGemu, and why I think it's worth it.

You mention Star Wars: Galaxies on a PC gaming forum and you can be pretty sure of certain reactions. One camp will roll their eyes and post, "not again. Let it rest." One camp will come along with the, "yeah, it's a shame what they did to the game after CU and NGE, but I still play it because...well...It's SW:G." and then you'll get the majority of responses. Heart break, bitterness, nostalgia and a misty-eyed rememberance of a game system that should-have-been.

Pre CU and NGE, Star Wars: Galaxies was a game that wasn't like any other (and in some cases, still outshines some of the brand new games.) in the fact it was damn hard work getting to where you wanted to be.

You had skill trees you had to work through as a melee or social profession. Hours and hours of harvesting and work, and yet, you weren't truly holed up in one set in stone profession. You could mix and match and do as you like, ending up with a pretty much customized class suited for your playing needs. And I don't even have the time to go on about how the housing, clothing, imagination of the players made it a game truly unique to those of us who enjoy role playing or getting into the game while there.

But the one thing that SW:G is missing at this moment more than anything is the community. I wrote a post several months back about why I think SW:G is slowly declining after the loss of it's core community, so I won't rehash it any further than mentioning it here. But what's this got to do with anything? What's this got to do with SWGemu?

Community.

SWGemu has the stirrings, the quiet whisperings and the beginnings of the same community I once thought long dead from SW:G. In it's testing, adolesence phase, SWGemu is very awkward. There are game-smashing, lose-your-character-if-you-go-to-Coronet-bugs. There are tiny little annoying things that don't work right and then giant huge-oops, we're missing missions, can't craft yet--and it doesn't seem to matter. The core community of players backing everyone 100% is there. I wasn't signed in five minutes to take my first peek when someone came along to introduce themselves and show me around.

This...This could me a magnificent thing, and I am encouraging you now...If you've kept your SW:G C.D's, If you still have it insalled but no longer subscribe and are disenchanted, if you hold pre CU and pre NGE fondly and want to return to a land before time...I am urging you to check out and take a look at SWGemu.

I have and am placing alot of hope into this project, like many already there. I hope that you'll come to love it, warts and all, too.

Wheels

I keep trying to return to poetry.

I keep trying to write something.

I keep trying to draw something and the more I want it the further away it goes. The most I just spin my wheels around and around and around.

The Night is Lonely.

What is it about really late night that makes it such a lonesome time for people?

I always think that the quiet, the hum of the computer, the whisper of the air conditioner or the distant saw of snoring would be something far more comforting instead of hollowing.

10 Random Things About Me I still haven't told you yet....I think!

In the spirit of sharing and realizing that my life is as mundane as everyone elses, I come to spice it up by sharing 10 random facts about myself that I don't think I have shared yet, as if you REAAAALLLY wanted to know!

(shut up I just like lists.)

1.) Thanks to one marathon session of season 1 & 2 of the Tudors last month, I have been on a semi-obsessed love affair with the 1550's and there abouts--despite the dirty, filthy, stinking, backwards ways it was. It's the wigs--the pearls, the diamonds and the gowns. Or maybe the men in tight hose...Anyway, last night I shot sleep in the head to watch Elizabeth, and Elizabeth: the golden age. I had fun. Tudors Season 3 cannot get here fast enough.

2.) Now that Bill and Sookie (HBO Series: Trueblood) have humped like rabbits that certain spark that made the show different has started to fade. I still like the show, but I find myself loosing enthusiasm in worrying about it.

3.) I have a million things I always want to do. I am the world's greatest procrastinator. I want to repaint this picture. I want to sit down with my sketchbook and practice. I want to work on rusty CSS skills. I want to get back into fiddling with layouts. I want to make graphics and icons. I want to role play. I want to write. I want to make money online. I want to try Nano this year (I made an account. Haven't even started and probably won't lololololol.) I want to write poetry. I want to learn how to write better. I have things to clean--this goes through my head and more, everyday. Generally, I clean and dick around the internet. Woo.

4.) I forgive easily but I do not forget. If some one wrongs me, even if I say I have forgiven them--I tend to start building walls, or shutting them out quietly bit by bit until I have placed suitable distance. What I mean by that, is, I sort of slowly remove myself from them while being as polite and nonchalant as possible--and generally tend to make them have to some how earn my trust again to get the process reversed...Or they don't, and eventually I am just completely gone all together. Bad habit, that!

5.) I never used to have a shoe fetish. As I have neared and now passed 30, I have a drive to want to own every shiny pair of shoes I pass. Pretty shoes, comfy shoes, slipper-shoes, funny shoes, high heels...I would literally have many pairs to wear different shoes a day. I do not know where this came from. When I was a child, we had money enough for a pair of shoes. Normally, THE pair that fit me at the time and I did not get another pair until I either grew out of them or they were falling apart. When I first met Shawn, I had a pair of WALMART sandals. That was it. I wore those for two years before I met him and wore them for another four/five after. Eventually, I wore the soles out until there were holes where my toes and heels were and had to get new shoes. Perhaps the sandals were magic sandals against shoe addiction--after that, I have turned into a payless beast. Well. I would. If Shawn would let me.

6.) I am going through my pink and sparkly phase for a second time. The first time was probably between the ages of 3-10. I wandered away from it for a while and now that I am 30 I am once again obsessed with the color pink and/or glitter. Some times the two of them together. I want to be surrounded by pink things and I am not sure what that means/where it came from.

7.) Significantly growing more foul in the vocabulary area as I grow older. I have to catch myself from saying "fuck," in public with people I don't know, because, "I don't fucking know, that fucking guy with the fucking face," is the nominal frequency fuck is used when I talk to Shawn some days.

8.) This last year I just up and developed dandruff. I have never had a damn flake. I have switched to a different regiment of washing and conditioning and finally caved in to trying Head & Shoulders. Both my parents had psoriasis and mentioning Head & Shoulders brought nightmares of this bright blue shit that smelled like medicine cabinets in hospitals + some kind of poop. I am happy to say Head & Shoulders has since then, VASTLY improved, the shampoo & conditioner I have right now smells awesome and not like poo.

9.) I had three sparkly head bands from Target purchased last year. Cheap kind, not for holding hair back per se but for glittering and shimmering on your head. Secretly, I pretended the silver leopard sparkly, red and black head bands were tiaras. This appeased me for some time until 2 of them snapped. The last one, my sparkly leopard spotted one is still alive but the plastic is creaking. I will be very sad when it goes.

10.) Some times my cat is so overwhelmingly adorable I scoop her up and tell her that she's so cute that I have to eat her. So I gum on her head like a retard while making fake chewing motions, get hair all in my face and mouth and top it off with really loud OUM NOM NOM noises.


Welp, there's my ten random FAQ's ya'll probably really didn't want to know about me! How's about you?

Painted

Pastel touches canvas,
giving light to shaded background.
I'm coloring myself unwanted.

Memory coughs down another lecture of perspective
and I'm ignoring it, blending grays away until
I explode; whispering bright patterns against the dull.

I live my pretend life in pretend beauty,
crying with angels,
dancing with spirits,
kissing pretty boys on their pretty mouths;
happily forever after into a sunset I painted lemonade.

My reds bleed to wistful pink mists,
my forest greens to neon envy.

If I painted reality it would be black and gray and
tears all over.

My mind is the turpentine to all my dreams