Oct 1, 2008

Two Phat Geek's simple secrets to a happy marriage.

I see them every where on the internet, “top ten ways to make your relationship last!” and, “top seven ways to make your wife happy for the man who really likes to kick himself in the groinal area.” Let’s not mention the ads on television for 29 dimensions of pay-us-and-you’llOMGTOTALLY be so happy! Shove all this crap the internet is telling you about relationships and how to make them last, and let us crotchety geeks tell you how it’s really done.

It’s okay to fart.


And I don’t mean for you to run down the hallway to your loved one right now and let one rip that would make any burly woodsman proud.

What I mean is this: be honest about who you are. Don’t present a false you for someone to fall in love with, because chances are that several weeks, months, or years into the relationship when the curtain finally arises on the real you…Your partner may end up disenchanted, to say the least, in what's happened to her 'perfect prince,' or his 'princess.'



Read the rest of the article here.


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Sep 29, 2008

I have a horrible secret. It's been burning in my guts for...all day.

Guys, guys--I'm not perfect.

I have proof. I have video proof.

Over at 2phatgeeks I posted a nice video clip of my recent bloopers.

You can watch me humiliate myself here: Video bloopers

Suuuupahstaaaaah!

Sep 27, 2008

The Top 10 surefire ways to make your husband think you are absolutely insane

A new post over at 2phatgeeks I thought you'd particularly enjoy.

The Top 10 surefire ways to make your husband think you are absolutely insane

"....Stay up more than twenty four hours. In fact, go for beyond three days if possible until the carpet starts waving like the ocean at your feet. When you finally feel like your brain is ready to let you slip into a sweet, sweet coma grab your pajama pants and:
  • Attempt to put your foot into them without looking. Trust me, when you’ve gone forever without sleep and you feel like you’ve just gone the distance with a kegger or two, it’s nigh impossible to do without killing yourself and taking several other people with you.
  • Fall flat on your face immediately after trying to put one single toe in a leg of your pajamas.
  • Rise up triumphantly, giggling madly, and wrap the jammie bottoms around your head as if you were a beggar woman from Soviet Russia (where Jammies eat YOU). Ask him clearly if he “would like some bread?” in an awful Russian facsimile accent."

  • Read the rest of the article here.


    We've an RSS feed if you'd like to follow it with your favorite reader: 2phatgeeks RSS

    And last but never least, you could just visit, bookmark us, and tell me I'm as weird as I am on Blogger, there.

    This moment of proud WordPress whoreage was brought to you by the letter Mel, the number: Shawn, and the words 'Proud to be odd.' This has not been endorsed by the millions of dollars I wish it was.

    Sep 25, 2008

    Five Signs that your pet cat may be Sick.


    Originally written and posted on gomestic.com

    Cats can't rely on the power of words to tell us something is wrong. How are we to know if they're sick or not? Here are five simple signs to look out for when kitty is feeling bad.

    Cats and humans have coexisted for thousands of years. They're warm bundles of precocious sun-napping love that can change a cat-owner's life for the better. From filling an empty house with sound and mischief, to comforting us when we least expect it--living with a cat can be rewarding in its own right.

    Just like us, however, cats can and often do fall prey to numerous things; aging, disease and illnesses. Unlike us, however, cats can't tell us what is wrong. The natural instinct for most cats when falling ill is to hide symptoms as long as possible. This is a throw-back from when most cats roamed about in the wild. Predators often look to hunt the weak and the sick; the longer a cat could hide his or her illness, the longer they could stay off the next-to-eat food list.

    Given their habit to hide their illness, one would think it'd be next to impossible then to actually tell if they are sick or not. This isn't exactly true! There are subtle behaviorial changes a sick kitty will exhibit and with a little education and a sharp eye, you can learn how to spot when kitty isn't feeling well and is in need of Veterinarian help!

    • Drunk and or stumbling about. For those of you who may remember what kitty was like after he or she returned home from his or her surgery to be spayed or neutered, you may already know the behavior above. Kitty tends to be very, very groggy, as if unable to wake up fulling. He may stumble into walls, chairs, or other furniture pieces that he has never stumbled into before. She might have trouble opening her eyes fully or trip over her own paws. Cats which are weaving and wobbling about suddenly are a blatant indication that something is wrong with him or her.
    • No longer using the litter box. A cat that has never had issues using the litter box, suddenly begins peeing all over your favorite clothes, carpet, bed or any other place other than the litter box, pay attention! Cat's that abruptly change behavior for no reason are often trying to tell us in their own way, something is wrong. Granted, bringing in a new cat, changing the kitty litter brand, not cleaning out the litter box often enough can bring about this behavior--if you have: a clean litter box, been using the same brand, haven't introduced any new cats? Consider this a signal that kitty is giving to you that something might be wrong! Note: a cat straining in the litter box, meowing and/or crying while using the litter box is an emergency situation. Do not hesitate! Call your Vet or an emergency animal hospital A.S.A.P!
    • Excessive Lethargy or listlessness. This one might seem a little more difficult to diagnose, as we all know, cats just love to sleep! Cats are known for sleeping at all hours of the day in between play, so often it is easy to mistake lethargy at first, for normal cat behavior. Some things to keep an eye out however is excessive lethargy. Has kitty suddenly stopped responding to your voice, your touch, or his or her favorite toy? Is there a sudden delayed reaction to any of these? The actual cause of lethargy can be many things but it is definitely an underlaying symptom of something wrong!
    • Sudden complete change of behavior. Perhaps you have a very anti-social cat which tends to like to be left alone and hides most of the day. Suddenly, he's in your lap and begging for pettings, following you around the house and generally being the complete opposite of what he's been for years. Maybe your cat originally was very affectionate, friendly and social. Out of no where one day, she turns into a hissing, biting, scratching fur-machine, making your life miserable. Abrubt changes in behavior are a loud and clear signal that something is wrong.
    • Changes in appetite: ravenous or refusal to eat. A dainty eater that picks and chews at a few of her dry food pieces, overnight, starts ravenously gobbling down all of them and cries for more. A messy, enthusiastic cat who tends to eat his share and then tries to eat the dog's food and yours, abruptly stops eating all together or eats too little. Severe changes in a cat's usual appetite is another major signal that things aren't all as they should be.

    The most important thing to remember when keeping an eye on your cats health is this: generally cats have subtly been trying to tell us something is wrong for days, weeks, and sometimes months. Most often, by the time cats are displaying some of these behaviors, it is often because something serious is going on. If you have a cat exhibiting any of these behaviors, consider taking them as soon as possible to your local Vetrinarian! There's no way of telling how long our cats have been hiding symptoms to a larger problem and how long they've been sick!

    All it takes to make sure our pawed-companions lead a longer, healthier life is just a little more observation on our parts!

    Sep 24, 2008

    Guppy and I practicing our evil laughs

    Practicing my evil laugh with my buddy Guppy as well as a rousing game of Peek-a-boo.