Feb 11, 2008

I Love love

I hated valentines day with a passion. I was the greasy haired, too-large-for-face aviator frame glasses, chubby cheeked, awkward, no-sense of fashion high school girl. I typically crushed from several miles away or crushed on the unobtainable.

I had little to nothing going for me until puberty hit and I grew boobs.

Boobs, however, did not help you out on Valentines day, when watching from the sidelines all the pretty golden blond girls received their 34232323232 valentines day gifts, single roses, cards or what have you from friends and admirers as the rest of us just peered out from over our copies of David Eddings fantasy books or D&D manuals.

Some times the feeling would ease when I was in a relationship; but I admit that all of my relationship choices before hand were simply awful. Most of them didn't even show much affection day to day, let alone on one day out of the year.

I chalked it up to being a day marked for forever-bitterness and shoved it out of my mind.

And then something really odd happened this year, and I don't quite think it all has everything to do with my husband, Shawn. (Sorry babes!)

Between the raging emo of my twenty ninth birthday, disillusion of Christmas and the mouse like quiet passing of New Years--I realized that not only was I alright with Valentines day--I was looking forward to it. Yes, I knew and still know it, like every other holiday, is over commercialized and most tend to focus on the money-end of it...But something about the day just appeals to me greatly.

Maybe it's my vow to self-improve. Maybe it's because I am tired of beating myself up day in and day out as well as reading it in some pretty amazing, astonishing and beautiful people. Maybe I just love the fact that on top of taking everyday to tell the people I love, (not just romantic love, or sexual love, or crush love) how much I love them--we have an entire official day dedicated to love.

Realistically, I'm probably just turning into a sappy bitch. But I like it all the same. Spread the love, or don't. It's all up to you.